Developing Resilience as a Highly Sensitive Person

CC: Bare Feet in Sea Water, Photo by Alexey Demidov

​As a child growing up I frequently sensed a distinction—I seemed to possess a level of perception that captured details overlooked by individuals. It was, as though every sound, every feeling and every change in the environment had an impact, on me. When I entered spaces I could sense the emotions of everyone clinging to me. Even a casual comment or critique would resonate in my thoughts for days pulling me into a whirlpool of uncertainty. At that moment, in my life when I was unaware of it yet fully feeling it within me – this heightened sensitivity I possessed had a label attached to it. I was labeled by those around me as "too sensitive" or "too weird". Once by a student in a community college night class, "too deep" is what he told me when I read into the group assignment a little too much. Yep, that one stayed with me for a while. It turned out that I was identified as a Highly Sensitive Person (commonly known as an HSP).

I used to view this characteristic as a flaw, for quite some time. It made me feel lost and uncertain, about how to handle it all. However one day in my twenties, I stumbled upon a women's circle event and met a special someone who faced this very situation. She was younger than me, but fully owned her "sensitivity". She shared with me how it was not only accepted but highly encouraged by the people who raised her and she grew into it wholeheartedly with their support and guidance. She was taught to establish boundaries, embraced different practices of mindfulness and gradually discovered power in what she might have at first considered a weakness. Motivated by her experience I began to investigate methods to foster my sensitivity and develop strength. Through my journey of exploration and self discovery I came to realize that this was not a problem to be solved. Rather a truth to be embraced and respected. 

After conducting research, exploring, training, practicing mindfulness with a dose of self kindness and self-compassion thrown in the mix I've discovered that having a level of sensitivity can actually be a blessing. I'd like to take this opportunity to share my insights and discuss how scientific evidence, (yes- I've gone down the rabbit hole on this one) also backs the notion that sensitivity combined with resilience can pave the way, for a fulfilling existence, not to mention the skills developed for the exact work I do in the world today.

Exploring the Depth of Sensitivity; Understanding Highly Sensitive Individuals.
Not all sensitive people are fragile or overly emotional; as Dr. Elaine Aron highlighted this concept before us all and revealed that about 15-20 percent of the population fall into this category of being highly sensitive individuals. They  tend to process things at a deeper level, with heightened emotional awareness and empathy skills that are above average. Despite the tendency to feel overwhelmed in settings due to our heightened sensitivity levels; being an HSP comes with its set of special qualities such, as creativity prowess combined with profound connections and emotional intelligence. 

To flourish as an (HSP) one must master the art of cultivating inner strength to gracefully navigate lifes profound challenges, without compromising ones true self amidst its tumultuous nature. 

Unraveling the Science of Sensitivity and Strengths
Neuroscience (here we go😏) provides understandings into the reasons, behind why sensitive individuals perceive life with such depth and intensity. Studies indicate that people with sensitivity exhibit increased brain activity in regions for empathy, consciousness and emotional processing – particularly in the insula and mirror neurons. This heightened awareness enables us to capture the nuances of our environment. Can also result in feeling overwhelmed, at times. Uhh, yeah😣.

It's a relief to know that neuroscience tells us that resilience is something we have the power to develop as nurture in ourselves and others too! The idea of neuroplasticity—how our brains are capable of transforming and creating pathways—implies that by being attentive and purposeful, in our efforts every day, people who are sensitive individuals (HSP) could improve their fluency of emotions and fortify their ability to bounce back from challenges, in life. This is something I'm having to learn to refine even more now in my mid-forties: resiliency.

Practicing mindfulness techniques such, as meditation has been shown to soothe the system and improve regulation while also boosting the prefrontal cortex's functions in decision making and emotional regulation. By engaging in these practices sensitive persons (HSP) can acquire the skills to handle their emotions more effectively and decrease instances of feeling overwhelmed. This is why I teach what teach...because I need it the most. I have first-hand, personal experience and real-world practice. As I write this post, I'm literally connecting the dots with my behind-the-scenes studies in the "science" part of it. Which has been enlightening to say the least.

Tips, for Developing Resilience as an Individual with a High Sensitivity Level 

• Engage with the practice of mindfulness and meditation. Practicing mindfulness is a way to stay centered in the moment and ease stressors according to research findings that suggest it can positively impact brain function and enhance stress management skills.
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  Simple Suggestion. Begin your day with a five minute session of deep breathing, in the morning to center yourself in the present moment and calm your mind from distractions and worries before gradually expanding this practice over time.
  
  
• Establish Limits Without Feeling Guilty. As an (HSP) you may often find yourself influenced by the emotions of those, around you in various ways and directions. It is important to establish boundaries to protect your energy reserves and wellbeing. Trust me. I know this one all to well. Learning to decline requests without experiencing guilt is an aspect of building resilience and self care capabilities. It's really okay to set healthy boundaries for yourself.
  
  When you start to feel tired or exhausted in the future try saying quietly to yourself "It's time for me to take a break and recharge." You might be amazed, by how setting this simple boundary can make a difference. 

 

• Make self care rituals a top priority in your routine. To ensure wellbeing and balance, for HSP individuals who handle information loads daily; it is crucial to prioritize self care practices such as practicing yoga or immersing in nature to boost levels and promote equilibrium, in mind and body. One of my favorite self care rituals is mindfully sipping a nice cup of herbal tea at the end of the day.
  
  Here's a suggestion, for you. Why not set aside some time each week for self care activities that bring you joy? Whether its writing in a journal. Simply unwinding in an environment. Making this small commitment, to your own wellness can have lasting benefits. 

 

• Foster Emotional Intelligence. Recognizing and identifying your feelings can empower you to control them according to neuroscience research that indicates assigning labels to emotions triggers brain regions that can lessen the strength of emotional reactions. I highly suggest downloading the emotional wheel workbook that I provide here on the website. It's very helpful in developing a language for your feelings. This is definitely something important many of us are not aware of, that I believe is actually so essential, not only for our own wellbeing, but within our relationships as well.
  
  When you start to feel like everything's too much to handle, at once pause and reflect on your emotions by asking yourself questions, like "What exactly am I feeling at this moment?". Why am I feeling this way?" This simple act of acknowledging your emotions can make it easier for you to take back control of the situation. 

 

• Remember to be kind, to yourself m'kay? People who identify as persons (or HSP) often have a tendency to be quite tough, on themselves; however resilience is cultivated by showing oneself kindness during challenging times specifically. Studies indicate that practicing self care and compassion not alleviates stress but also enhances ones fortitude significantly. 
  
  When you find yourself getting caught up in self criticism thought storm take a moment and consider if you would express these words to a dear friend. Be kind, to yourself just as you would to someone you really care about.
  
  
• Establishing a network of individuals is key. Feeling extremely sensitive can sometimes lead to a sense of isolation; however developing resilience becomes easier when we connect with individuals who appreciate our requirements and boundaries. Receiving encouragement from individuals who comprehend your sensitivity can truly boost your confidence and strength. 
  
  Don't hesitate to talk to your loved ones, about your requirements honestly sharing why you value moments of peace or short breaks and how they can assist you. 

Viewing sensitivity as a strength rather than a weakness can be empowering
Having a sense of sensitivity is not a weakness. A valuable asset to cherish and nurture in oneself with mindfulness and self care practices in place to help you grow stronger, from within despite the challenges you may face daily with an open heart and understanding towards those around you in this world that craves genuine connections now more, than ever before. 

 Embrace your emotions and inner strength; you'll discover that you're not merely enduring but flourishing.  ​